It is May! Four months have passed. I've been meaning to write this post for such a long time, but many things have happened since the thought first crossed my mind. April has been an adventure to say the least, like spring in the midwest where winter and summer fight to win, not quite meeting in a happy middle. A rollercoaster ride... But such is life.
I had been thinking about my resolutions and whether or not I was actually making the changes in my life that I had set out to do, and whether or not they have impacted me in positive ways.
1. Vermicomposting. Worms still terrify me. BUT, I am happy to say that my worms have survived the brutal shock of starting up in a new bin. they are happy and creepy as ever, eating the organic waste and pooping out a fine rich compost. I should probably be better about mixing the bin and giving the worms more sustenance than coffee grounds and egg shells. other than that, they seem to be multiplying and making their slimy little noises. I feel as though there is less trash that I take out so that is one thing I have been successful at keeping up.
2. Whole 30. D and I did it once. Will we do it again? probably. We felt great and it was such a great change of pace from our normal eating habits. I learned a lot about myself and developed an appreciation for the foods I consumed. Honestly though, the moral of the story is always eat good food, in moderation. When people complain about calorie in and calorie out, I am still struggling with how to explain to them that it's about the quality of the food you eat. 1000 calories of potato chips and soda do not equal 1000 calories of fruits and vegetables. And the way your body metabolizes these foods is so different too. Anyway, after those first 30 days of struggle and triumph, D and I have reverted to a diet similar to what we had been consuming before, except I have been snacking less and definitely eating more vegetables. I am an overconsumer of chocolate and that has definitely blossomed after finding out that the local food co-op always seems to have chocolate sales..... (so bad but so good!!!!!) We are thinking about repeating the whole30 challenge, especially since that now most of our hard set academic obligations are slowly melting away as the semester ends. I know how I respond to certain foods, so I think the second time around will be much easier. It'll give me a chance to expand my repertoire of cookin skills! Overall, I would say that I learned a lot from the challenge, and the experiences I have learned are helping me guide the decisions I make about what I buy at the grocery store and how I think about my meals.
3. Yoga. I am still keeping up with this marvelous adventure. Let me tell you, adopting yoga as a lifestyle has made such incredible changes in my life. How has yoga changed my life? Let me count the ways. I can feel myself getting stronger. My core is getting stronger, and I can tell whenever I go run. Returning to running has been slow going, but the short runs I've done have been awesome. My body wants to go and it wants to go fast and feel the ground flying below me and I can to a degree. Still gotta ramp up slowly so I don't injure. Things are just not as big of a deal anymore. I approach adversity with much more calm and composure (or i like to think that i do this) than before. I mean, some days, I still fall back into my emotional ruts but I have found that I can manage my emotions much better. I am happier. I have met a stunningly amazing group of people who embrace thankfulness and mindfulness and befriend you without judgement because they believe that everyone is good and kind. Life is a celebration and being thankful for the life you have is a choice you can choose to make.
4. Languages. I dropped the ball on this one (kind of). Duolingo, sorry, but you've only captured my attention for a short two or so months, but my infatuation with you still comes and goes. I finally enrolled in a basic medical Spanish extracurricular course which was a great experience. While I have been bad and have not reviewed the vocabulary, I think just being re-exposed to Spanish and also being exposed to new medical vocabulary is a step in the right direction. This summer, for sure-- I will review more medical Spanish.
5. Read more. This is not a problem. EVER. Reading is fun, writing takes more discipline than I have. I've been reading a lot recently. I recently finished My Stroke of Insight, The Alchemist, and some others that I guess haven't captivated my attention. Currently reading Cloud Atlas, Salt Sugar Fat, A Suitable Boy, and Uncommon Grounds. All are very good so far, and I would say I read books similarly to how I enjoy foods: A taste of every flavor makes my meal complete, eat regularly, and indulge in what is delicious.... as long as it's good. What I should have changed this to was WRITE MORE. Maybe that way, my thesis will magically be completed.
So now that my resolutions have been revisited, what will I do? probably keep on keeping on.... and write more.
There's much adversity ahead of me (wah wah life is so hard blah blah blah) but after my recent adventures at the American Physician Scientists Association meeting, I was inspired to keep going. Never give up. Good things will happen. Opportunity is knocking and I just have to go answer the door. Work hard, live hard, strive for excellence.... and all that jazz. Maybe 30 years from now, I'll be as happy and fulfilled with my life as all these people were. But right now, I just have to keep my head up and keep moving forward.
Til next time, eat well be well and live well.
cupcakes
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
On Celebrations of Life and Death
A few days ago, I checked in with myself to see how well I was adhering to my resolutions. It is already April, 4 months into the year and it's spring. I love spring because of what happens: the cold of winter and the dead bareness of it suddenly seems to go away. The sun is out, the days are longer, the flowers emerge, the trees shake themselves slowly awake and start presenting the softest of soft leaves to the sun. Spring is also an interesting time of year, especially in an academic timeline. Classes are winding down and students are suddenly aware that there is life outside of the library, and campus is suddenly bustling with activity. Spirits lift and there is a renewed hope because of the liberty and heat that summer will bring.
My spring has been dampened by a few things, one of which is the passing of my grandma. Two years ago, as trivial as it sounds, my mom's dog died suddenly. Three years ago in May, my grandfather passed away. When I found out about the death of my grandfather, I was heartbroken. And it was even more heartbreaking to call my relatives over seas and to hear the grief in their voices. I feel as though in the states, death is a solemn time and you grieve silently. Other cultures express the passing and grief of loved ones in very different ways, through ceremony, vocalizing their grief, wailing, feasts, celebrating. It was such a shock to me to suddenly be bombarded by the cries of my aunts and uncles and grandma, it drove me to tears. When I heard about my dog's death, my mom called in hysterics and it had sounded like one of her children had died. The thing about pets that make their going so heart wrenching is their unquestioning love and devotion to their families. My dog was annoying and loud and quite a handful, but nobody would ever doubt that she held a special place in all of our hearts for all those years she was in our lives, dependent on our charity and love, the secret morsels of dinner we snuck to her, and all our hugs and kisses.
Today, after hearing about my grandmother's passing, I felt strangely conflicted. How do you mourn someone you barely knew? After 96 years (97 by the lunar calendar), death should be a celebration of life, shouldn't it? I started writing a post years ago when my grandpa passed away and it was a list of things I had written, as a note to myself that life should be celebrated. I remember starting the entry, and the tears wouldn't stop. I couldn't write anything meaningful as if the words just refused to come out. Articulating my thoughts and feelings were too hard, so the only thing I was capable of doing was making a list of things that were good in life. After the explosions at the Boston marathon the other day, these things really made me wonder and think about what it means to be alive, what it means to be good and kind, and how we can live every day as a celebration of life.
I am writing an open letter to my grandma. I wonder if she'll understand it now that she's not in a place that's barred by language.
Grandma,
I wish I could articulate the things that I feel in my head and my heart today. You were a mystery to me. I know so little about you besides the fact that you were born in 1917. I can't even imagine what you have been through, your life and everything that's happened in it. I have no idea what you looked like in your youth, what your hobbies were, and what you enjoyed eating or cooking. Things have changed so much since then. I don't even know when you first stepped on American soil and what you thought when you emerged in a country where you could not even begin to understand the language. What was it like? To uproot yourself and suddenly go from house to house, babysitting your grand children, your great grand children? What was it like to not even be able to communicate with them?
When we were little, I remember the days that you spent at our house. We were reckless and messy, toys all over the house. But you never said a negative word and patiently cleaned up after us. I remember when you would meticulously cut and peel fruits for us to eat. I was always so amazed at how sure your hands were with the sharpest knife in the house. I remember your shoes. They were always those cute SAS brand shoes. And for some reason, someone (I don't remember who) told me you loved the red ones. So you would go from beige shoes, to white, and back to beige, but you'd be happiest with the red ones. Things seemed so simple back then. When I saw your red shoes at the doorway, you might be home napping and I could come pull the blanket up to cover you. Or you'd have a plate of pears, peeled and ready to be eaten. Then there was a period of time where you disappeared, probably to be where your great grandchildren were. Somehow, newborns and youth always bring a certain life and happiness to the elderly. And I remember at one of our family events, they put one of your great-grand children into your arms and your face lite up. The adoration, the happiness-- they truly are bundles of joy. And then there was a period of time when the grandkids all went to college.
Over the years, when you went into the assisted living/nursing home facility, I saw you less and less. And sometimes, I felt like you didn't really know who I was. But that was OK. I would give you a hug and I'd tell you my name, and you would suddenly remember the stranger that was before you. And every time I saw you, you'd always tell me that I've grown up so much, immediately followed by a question asking when I would get married and have kids so she could hold my children. That was when I would laugh awkwardly and distract you with the cookies and snacks I'd pick up on the way. Someone told me you loved the Asian crackers with the little bits of sea weed baked into them. I love them too. They were crunchy without being offensively crunchy, they were sweet.... not offensively sweet, but delicately sweet like the way life should always be. Sometimes I'd bring you the shelled chestnuts and we'd tear through the bag. The funniest time was when you insisted on feeding me the chestnuts even though I had a handful of my own. So we laughed and fed each other peeled chestnuts.
I'm not sure when you went from being able to walk to using a cane to being wheelchair bound, but I guess it's the same way that I'm not sure when you went from having greying hair to a soft fluff of white on your head. I KNOW you didn't have curly hair, so someone out there carefully permed it every so often and it was cute that you'd show up to family functions rocking your red SAS shoes and a neon pink dress suit or outfit, with your makeup carefully done by maybe one of the aunts. I loved the pink or bright red lipstick that you wore. Sometimes I wondered if you applied it yourself or if you chose the color and someone else applied it for you. Always showing up in fashion. Always smiling. Always present. I remember someone telling me that you had said your time was limited and that you wanted to spend time in everyone's household this year. But I guess time was not gracious enough to allow you that.
You were always there in our thoughts, and I think that you will continue to be there. We exchanged a handful of words. Language barriers are awful, but somewhere deep down, we understood each other and we communicated well enough. It's strange to think that I have only known you for a fraction of your life, considering how long I FEEL like I have been around. I wish I had known more about you and your life, but sometimes I don't need to know. I like it better thinking that I can imagine you in my mind as a bright and smiling youth, growing up to be a bright and smiling woman, growing up to see your children become adults, growing up to be a bright and smiling grandmother, holding your grandchildren--so full of potential, eventually growing up to be a bright and smiling great grandmother, leaving a legacy of change and adaptation, strength and happiness. I don't know that I would have been as close to my cousins or seen aunts and uncles as often as we did if you hadn't been around to be the common denominator and the glue bringing us all together. And again, in your passing, you bring so many people together again. I hope that maybe the gripes and grudges of the past might finally be let go so that we can honor you and your life in the way we remembered it to be.
I am carefully crafting a beautiful life for you in my head. The trials and tribulations are there, but what comes of it is a story of a family-- one that is continuing and will continue.
Thank you, Grandma. You have touched the lives of so many people. May you rest in peace.
My spring has been dampened by a few things, one of which is the passing of my grandma. Two years ago, as trivial as it sounds, my mom's dog died suddenly. Three years ago in May, my grandfather passed away. When I found out about the death of my grandfather, I was heartbroken. And it was even more heartbreaking to call my relatives over seas and to hear the grief in their voices. I feel as though in the states, death is a solemn time and you grieve silently. Other cultures express the passing and grief of loved ones in very different ways, through ceremony, vocalizing their grief, wailing, feasts, celebrating. It was such a shock to me to suddenly be bombarded by the cries of my aunts and uncles and grandma, it drove me to tears. When I heard about my dog's death, my mom called in hysterics and it had sounded like one of her children had died. The thing about pets that make their going so heart wrenching is their unquestioning love and devotion to their families. My dog was annoying and loud and quite a handful, but nobody would ever doubt that she held a special place in all of our hearts for all those years she was in our lives, dependent on our charity and love, the secret morsels of dinner we snuck to her, and all our hugs and kisses.
Today, after hearing about my grandmother's passing, I felt strangely conflicted. How do you mourn someone you barely knew? After 96 years (97 by the lunar calendar), death should be a celebration of life, shouldn't it? I started writing a post years ago when my grandpa passed away and it was a list of things I had written, as a note to myself that life should be celebrated. I remember starting the entry, and the tears wouldn't stop. I couldn't write anything meaningful as if the words just refused to come out. Articulating my thoughts and feelings were too hard, so the only thing I was capable of doing was making a list of things that were good in life. After the explosions at the Boston marathon the other day, these things really made me wonder and think about what it means to be alive, what it means to be good and kind, and how we can live every day as a celebration of life.
I am writing an open letter to my grandma. I wonder if she'll understand it now that she's not in a place that's barred by language.
Grandma,
I wish I could articulate the things that I feel in my head and my heart today. You were a mystery to me. I know so little about you besides the fact that you were born in 1917. I can't even imagine what you have been through, your life and everything that's happened in it. I have no idea what you looked like in your youth, what your hobbies were, and what you enjoyed eating or cooking. Things have changed so much since then. I don't even know when you first stepped on American soil and what you thought when you emerged in a country where you could not even begin to understand the language. What was it like? To uproot yourself and suddenly go from house to house, babysitting your grand children, your great grand children? What was it like to not even be able to communicate with them?
When we were little, I remember the days that you spent at our house. We were reckless and messy, toys all over the house. But you never said a negative word and patiently cleaned up after us. I remember when you would meticulously cut and peel fruits for us to eat. I was always so amazed at how sure your hands were with the sharpest knife in the house. I remember your shoes. They were always those cute SAS brand shoes. And for some reason, someone (I don't remember who) told me you loved the red ones. So you would go from beige shoes, to white, and back to beige, but you'd be happiest with the red ones. Things seemed so simple back then. When I saw your red shoes at the doorway, you might be home napping and I could come pull the blanket up to cover you. Or you'd have a plate of pears, peeled and ready to be eaten. Then there was a period of time where you disappeared, probably to be where your great grandchildren were. Somehow, newborns and youth always bring a certain life and happiness to the elderly. And I remember at one of our family events, they put one of your great-grand children into your arms and your face lite up. The adoration, the happiness-- they truly are bundles of joy. And then there was a period of time when the grandkids all went to college.
Over the years, when you went into the assisted living/nursing home facility, I saw you less and less. And sometimes, I felt like you didn't really know who I was. But that was OK. I would give you a hug and I'd tell you my name, and you would suddenly remember the stranger that was before you. And every time I saw you, you'd always tell me that I've grown up so much, immediately followed by a question asking when I would get married and have kids so she could hold my children. That was when I would laugh awkwardly and distract you with the cookies and snacks I'd pick up on the way. Someone told me you loved the Asian crackers with the little bits of sea weed baked into them. I love them too. They were crunchy without being offensively crunchy, they were sweet.... not offensively sweet, but delicately sweet like the way life should always be. Sometimes I'd bring you the shelled chestnuts and we'd tear through the bag. The funniest time was when you insisted on feeding me the chestnuts even though I had a handful of my own. So we laughed and fed each other peeled chestnuts.
I'm not sure when you went from being able to walk to using a cane to being wheelchair bound, but I guess it's the same way that I'm not sure when you went from having greying hair to a soft fluff of white on your head. I KNOW you didn't have curly hair, so someone out there carefully permed it every so often and it was cute that you'd show up to family functions rocking your red SAS shoes and a neon pink dress suit or outfit, with your makeup carefully done by maybe one of the aunts. I loved the pink or bright red lipstick that you wore. Sometimes I wondered if you applied it yourself or if you chose the color and someone else applied it for you. Always showing up in fashion. Always smiling. Always present. I remember someone telling me that you had said your time was limited and that you wanted to spend time in everyone's household this year. But I guess time was not gracious enough to allow you that.
You were always there in our thoughts, and I think that you will continue to be there. We exchanged a handful of words. Language barriers are awful, but somewhere deep down, we understood each other and we communicated well enough. It's strange to think that I have only known you for a fraction of your life, considering how long I FEEL like I have been around. I wish I had known more about you and your life, but sometimes I don't need to know. I like it better thinking that I can imagine you in my mind as a bright and smiling youth, growing up to be a bright and smiling woman, growing up to see your children become adults, growing up to be a bright and smiling grandmother, holding your grandchildren--so full of potential, eventually growing up to be a bright and smiling great grandmother, leaving a legacy of change and adaptation, strength and happiness. I don't know that I would have been as close to my cousins or seen aunts and uncles as often as we did if you hadn't been around to be the common denominator and the glue bringing us all together. And again, in your passing, you bring so many people together again. I hope that maybe the gripes and grudges of the past might finally be let go so that we can honor you and your life in the way we remembered it to be.
I am carefully crafting a beautiful life for you in my head. The trials and tribulations are there, but what comes of it is a story of a family-- one that is continuing and will continue.
Thank you, Grandma. You have touched the lives of so many people. May you rest in peace.
Monday, February 18, 2013
strange.
do you ever appear to be like a calm pool of water.... but you're a roiling mess of turmoil beneath the surface?
how do you calm the turmoil?
maybe another piece of chocolate.
how do you calm the turmoil?
maybe another piece of chocolate.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Ashtanga Tuesday
It never fails to disappoint. It's awesome to see improvement every week. It's only been like, 6 weeks since joining the new studio and I've seen so much improvement already. I've been having some trouble with my knee so it was easy to modify poses so that I didn't stress out my joints too much. It's surprising though, to see how yoga has become a lifestyle, and that the people I am surrounded by in the studio are just so calm and at peace. They are MINDFUL. That mentality is what has been missing for so many years throughout my training as a researcher. Being able to meditate on your problems and to step back and observe the bigger picture, to be able to remove yourself is a good thing. Academics can seriously benefit from practicing yoga. I wish more people would be open to trying it and entering the practice without bias and insecurity. Yes, it's difficult, and yes, it's scary but it just takes practice, patience with yourself, and an open mind and dedication just like any other thing in life.
It amazes me when people hold so many assumptions about yoga-- especially about personal injury and the dangers of it. This article in the new york times came out last year: how yoga can wreck your body (click to go to article). I can see how yoga can wreck your body, but that is a problem of the ego. It shouldn't be a problem of the practice. One thing that practicing yoga has helped me to better understand was to more closely listen to my body. To practice without ego and to hear what your body is telling you is so important. The best way to injure yourself is to force your body into a pose when you aren't ready physically or mentally, to ignore the sharp shooting pain or to ignore your breath and your muscles. You injure when you practice carelessly and when you push beyond your abilities. But that's the case for anything. Running- you injure yourself when you push faster than your body can handle (i am guilty of this), without proper training and form you can injure your knees, ankles, hip, back. Cycling- low impact, but again, you can injure yourself when you push faster than your body can handle. your knees are so sensitive to repetitive motion, impact, and use and to abuse them because of an ego just seems silly and unnecessary. Any sport. Swimming, gymnastics, soccer, wrestling, you're prone to injury. Hell. you're prone to injuring yourself when you're walking down the stairs, getting in your car, walking down the hallway, wearing heels, sitting in chairs too long, working at a keyboard.
But anyway, lets be mindful. lets practice with with an open heart and lets be happy and content with life and all its intricacies.
It amazes me when people hold so many assumptions about yoga-- especially about personal injury and the dangers of it. This article in the new york times came out last year: how yoga can wreck your body (click to go to article). I can see how yoga can wreck your body, but that is a problem of the ego. It shouldn't be a problem of the practice. One thing that practicing yoga has helped me to better understand was to more closely listen to my body. To practice without ego and to hear what your body is telling you is so important. The best way to injure yourself is to force your body into a pose when you aren't ready physically or mentally, to ignore the sharp shooting pain or to ignore your breath and your muscles. You injure when you practice carelessly and when you push beyond your abilities. But that's the case for anything. Running- you injure yourself when you push faster than your body can handle (i am guilty of this), without proper training and form you can injure your knees, ankles, hip, back. Cycling- low impact, but again, you can injure yourself when you push faster than your body can handle. your knees are so sensitive to repetitive motion, impact, and use and to abuse them because of an ego just seems silly and unnecessary. Any sport. Swimming, gymnastics, soccer, wrestling, you're prone to injury. Hell. you're prone to injuring yourself when you're walking down the stairs, getting in your car, walking down the hallway, wearing heels, sitting in chairs too long, working at a keyboard.
But anyway, lets be mindful. lets practice with with an open heart and lets be happy and content with life and all its intricacies.
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Whole 30 Reflections
It's been a bit since I completed the challenge, and what has happened? (this might get long)
1. This is the first time in 3 years that I am back down to my pre surgery weight. I've lost over 10 lb during the challenge. I used to run a LOT. then had surgery on my ankle. and couldn't run for almost an entire year. I was depressed, gained 15 lb, and could barely fit into my clothes. When i was able to run again, I did it with gusto but continued to eat immensely. three years later, I still had only shaved off 5 lb of the surgery weight. Even when training for the marathons, I never reached my pre surg weight despite running 30+ miles a week. I felt great, but I thought I had settled into my new "normal weight" and lived with it. After the challenge, I practice yoga more frequently, don't run nearly as much due to some tendinitis but i'm more careful about what i put in my body.
2. I felt good. My sleeping seems to have improved. I still have some trouble staying asleep the whole night, but there have been improvements in the quality of the sleep I got. I woke up less tired and was actually able to get out of bed and start my day with less agony.
3. I was not as tired. The 2 oclock afternoon slump reminds me of those 5 hr energy commercials. And I used to hit it hard. The lab would frequent the local coffee shop and we'd all go for our mid afternoon pick me up coffee break. During the challenge, I didn't have to do this. 2 oclock coasted by with no problem, 3 oclock coasted by with no problem, and I found myself also cutting back on coffee. My morning coffee is a habit. It's a part of my routine. Whether or not i actually finish my coffee depends on how deliciously it is made. On a normal day, I would have my coffee in the morning. Maybe one with lunch, and of course the obligatory afternoon coffee break. I gave myself a limit, however-- no coffee after 5 pm. I have enough trouble sleeping as it is. That rule helped me sleep. But with the challenge, I would make my morning coffee. It would become unpleasantly cold before I could finish it. I might have some coffee with lunch. Again, it would become unpleasantly cold before i could finish it. and if i ventured for an afternoon coffee, I would hardly touch it. I found that drinking the afternoon coffee made my uncomfortably jittery so I would just use this opportunity as an excuse to socialize. I still enjoy my coffee, but it's become more of a ritualistic gesture of a former life than a necessity.
4. I was not hungry. Even though I didn't snack, I never felt the desire to snack. I used to reach into my snack drawer and grab something to munch oh, but I found that i didn't need to. Our conference room was always loaded with cookies and chips and brownies but I had no desire to eat it. It was easy for me to just say no. there was no craving to eat things. But when i ate, I thoroughly enjoyed every bite of what i ate.
5. I felt happier and more stable. Maybe it was because i wasn't hitting the hangry lows and maybe because I actively made yoga an integral part of my life, who knows. But something was working.
6. I saved a lot of money by not going out and not drinking. need i say more?
So what am i going to do now?
My first weekend liberated of the challenge has been almost shameful in acts of gluttony! I celebrated with wine, cheese and a chocolate. decadent. I probably overdid it with the mega deluxe chipwich ice cream cookie sandwich. and felt sick to my stomach for the entire night. yeah. lets not do that again.
I think some lasting changes will be cutting down significantly on refined sugar and processed foods. I won't make an effort to make it 100% cut out sugar because that just seems sinful, but I will probably not go out of my way to purchase those kinds of processed foods.
I am eating A LOT more vegetables and fruits. i think that is a good thing to continue.
I am not eating breads and gluten containing foods as often. I never really ate bread to begin with, so it wasn't really much of a big change for me. Even with pastas, I'd only eat them on occasion. So that probably won't change much.
I will cut down on the meats. It's too hard eating that much meat. I haven't found an appropriate protein source to replace all the meats. I can't decide if i'll go back to all pescatarian or if i'll occasionally indulge in the warm blooded.
I haven't been smart about reintroducing things into my diet, but i have sneaking suspicions that peanuts and yogurt do not agree with my body. i'll have to continue exploring this. I've also noticed that my mood has been dropping since the end of the challenge but I'm not sure if this is because of the change of foods i've been putting in my body or due to external things or both. So I should stay mindful about these things.
All in all, the challenge was a great experience. It was fun and I learned a lot. Would i do it again? maybe. if i had a chunk of time to dedicate to really doing it right. :-)
til next time.
1. This is the first time in 3 years that I am back down to my pre surgery weight. I've lost over 10 lb during the challenge. I used to run a LOT. then had surgery on my ankle. and couldn't run for almost an entire year. I was depressed, gained 15 lb, and could barely fit into my clothes. When i was able to run again, I did it with gusto but continued to eat immensely. three years later, I still had only shaved off 5 lb of the surgery weight. Even when training for the marathons, I never reached my pre surg weight despite running 30+ miles a week. I felt great, but I thought I had settled into my new "normal weight" and lived with it. After the challenge, I practice yoga more frequently, don't run nearly as much due to some tendinitis but i'm more careful about what i put in my body.
2. I felt good. My sleeping seems to have improved. I still have some trouble staying asleep the whole night, but there have been improvements in the quality of the sleep I got. I woke up less tired and was actually able to get out of bed and start my day with less agony.
3. I was not as tired. The 2 oclock afternoon slump reminds me of those 5 hr energy commercials. And I used to hit it hard. The lab would frequent the local coffee shop and we'd all go for our mid afternoon pick me up coffee break. During the challenge, I didn't have to do this. 2 oclock coasted by with no problem, 3 oclock coasted by with no problem, and I found myself also cutting back on coffee. My morning coffee is a habit. It's a part of my routine. Whether or not i actually finish my coffee depends on how deliciously it is made. On a normal day, I would have my coffee in the morning. Maybe one with lunch, and of course the obligatory afternoon coffee break. I gave myself a limit, however-- no coffee after 5 pm. I have enough trouble sleeping as it is. That rule helped me sleep. But with the challenge, I would make my morning coffee. It would become unpleasantly cold before I could finish it. I might have some coffee with lunch. Again, it would become unpleasantly cold before i could finish it. and if i ventured for an afternoon coffee, I would hardly touch it. I found that drinking the afternoon coffee made my uncomfortably jittery so I would just use this opportunity as an excuse to socialize. I still enjoy my coffee, but it's become more of a ritualistic gesture of a former life than a necessity.
4. I was not hungry. Even though I didn't snack, I never felt the desire to snack. I used to reach into my snack drawer and grab something to munch oh, but I found that i didn't need to. Our conference room was always loaded with cookies and chips and brownies but I had no desire to eat it. It was easy for me to just say no. there was no craving to eat things. But when i ate, I thoroughly enjoyed every bite of what i ate.
5. I felt happier and more stable. Maybe it was because i wasn't hitting the hangry lows and maybe because I actively made yoga an integral part of my life, who knows. But something was working.
6. I saved a lot of money by not going out and not drinking. need i say more?
So what am i going to do now?
My first weekend liberated of the challenge has been almost shameful in acts of gluttony! I celebrated with wine, cheese and a chocolate. decadent. I probably overdid it with the mega deluxe chipwich ice cream cookie sandwich. and felt sick to my stomach for the entire night. yeah. lets not do that again.
I think some lasting changes will be cutting down significantly on refined sugar and processed foods. I won't make an effort to make it 100% cut out sugar because that just seems sinful, but I will probably not go out of my way to purchase those kinds of processed foods.
I am eating A LOT more vegetables and fruits. i think that is a good thing to continue.
I am not eating breads and gluten containing foods as often. I never really ate bread to begin with, so it wasn't really much of a big change for me. Even with pastas, I'd only eat them on occasion. So that probably won't change much.
I will cut down on the meats. It's too hard eating that much meat. I haven't found an appropriate protein source to replace all the meats. I can't decide if i'll go back to all pescatarian or if i'll occasionally indulge in the warm blooded.
I haven't been smart about reintroducing things into my diet, but i have sneaking suspicions that peanuts and yogurt do not agree with my body. i'll have to continue exploring this. I've also noticed that my mood has been dropping since the end of the challenge but I'm not sure if this is because of the change of foods i've been putting in my body or due to external things or both. So I should stay mindful about these things.
All in all, the challenge was a great experience. It was fun and I learned a lot. Would i do it again? maybe. if i had a chunk of time to dedicate to really doing it right. :-)
til next time.
Friday, February 1, 2013
Day 30--CHALLENGE COMPLETED!
today= last day of the challenge.
A recap will follow shortly.
Tomorrow, I'm excited to enjoy a piece of chocolate. I'm excited to teach, I'm excited to yoga, and I'm excited for photos. I'm excited for a LOT of things.
life is good. it is very good.
A recap will follow shortly.
Tomorrow, I'm excited to enjoy a piece of chocolate. I'm excited to teach, I'm excited to yoga, and I'm excited for photos. I'm excited for a LOT of things.
life is good. it is very good.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Day 29 of 30- Gyros!
Tomorrow is already the last day of the challenge. I remember thinking on the 3rd of 4th day, "OMGGGGGG THIS IS GOING TO BE THE LONGEST 30 DAYS OF MY LIFE" and agonizing over the foods I wouldn't be able to eat. I stressed about my meals and what I'd make and if I'd feel full and if I'd feel gross after eating so much meat. There was a turning point some time after the 10 day mark. I'm not sure what happened. Maybe my cooking got better. Maybe i stopped thinking about things I couldn't eat and started thinking about things I WANTED to make and try! I think that might have been it. Recently, I rediscovered EVEN MORE delicious sounding recipes and it made me consider making it a WHOLE 31! or 32.... or 33....... and then I decided, no. I'll just keep to what works for me and reintroduce and see how that goes. I know I definitely won't be going back to my previous ways of eating. I'll be more aware of the foods I put in my body, and I think I have become better at creating in the kitchen, on my feet, on the go, with limited ingredients. With so many things you can't eat, there's so much you can do to make what you CAN eat infinitely better.
I love food, and all the flavors of it. and this challenge really has helped me realize that food in it's most beautiful and unadulterated state can and is amazingly delicious.
My most recent kitchen endeavor has been to make gyros. I had leftover ground lamb and beef from the shepherd's pie, and I didn't really know what to do with it. The magical thought of gyros crossed my mind and I immediately banished those thoughts from my mind because I was somehow under the impression that they were IMPOSSIBLE to make!! But, I looked it up and found that it was actually really reasonable. on a whim, at 11pm last night, i decided to make it.
Gyros
Ingredients
Ground lamb (1/2 lb)
Ground beef (1/2 lb)
2 cloves garlic chopped
garlic powder
crushed rosemary
thyme
salt
pepper
1. Preheat the oven to 350F.
2. Knead the meat and warm it up a little, adding the chopped garlic. (it helps if you break it up into smaller pieces of meat and knead them separately before mashing them all together)
3. Add the garlic powder, crushed rosemary, thyme, salt, and pepper and continue kneading until the spices are mixed in well (I didn't measure these, but I would approximate 1/2 t salt, 1/2 t pepper, 2 tsp garlic powder, 1 tsp rosemary and 1/2 tsp thyme. Next time I make it, i'm definitely doubling the spices and adding more salt.).
4. Take the ball of meat and throw it firmly on the counter top/cutting board for about 10 minutes. Somehow, doing this helps create the proper texture. They say it makes the fats break down? I don't know, but it worked.
5. After tossing the meat, pat into a tight ball and flatten slightly to compress into a miniature dense loaf. Some people may want to take a rolling pin and press it further. Mine wasn't too big so i just kept it the way it was. you don't want it to be thicker than about 2-3 in deep.
6. Bake in a baking dish (I used a greased 9x11 loaf pan) for ~1hr
Test the meat with a meat thermometer to make sure the inside gets to at least 160F to make sure that the meat is thoroughly cooked and safe. After you take it out of the oven, let it rest for about 10 minutes or so before slicing into fine strips.
It smelled SO fantastic out of the oven. There was a delicious dark coat and the juices spilled out of the loaf, it seemed wasteful to throw it away. I snuck a few tastes of the gyros and it was so yummy. Zorbas in my mouth FTW. Gyro dinner was a couple slices of gyro, sardines in olive oil, olives, and shredded raw brussels sprouts salad with lemon garlic aioli. Delicious. Dessert was coconut date bars from the co-op. again, delicious :-)
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Tomorrow is the 30th day. WHAT DO I DO!?!?!?!/
I know that on Saturday morning, I will eat a standard breakfast. and subsequently enjoy a glass of wine and a frango chocoalte. That's about as far ahead as I have planned. and i can't wait :-)
til next time, eat well and be well!
I love food, and all the flavors of it. and this challenge really has helped me realize that food in it's most beautiful and unadulterated state can and is amazingly delicious.
My most recent kitchen endeavor has been to make gyros. I had leftover ground lamb and beef from the shepherd's pie, and I didn't really know what to do with it. The magical thought of gyros crossed my mind and I immediately banished those thoughts from my mind because I was somehow under the impression that they were IMPOSSIBLE to make!! But, I looked it up and found that it was actually really reasonable. on a whim, at 11pm last night, i decided to make it.
Gyros
Ingredients
Ground lamb (1/2 lb)
Ground beef (1/2 lb)
2 cloves garlic chopped
garlic powder
crushed rosemary
thyme
salt
pepper
1. Preheat the oven to 350F.
2. Knead the meat and warm it up a little, adding the chopped garlic. (it helps if you break it up into smaller pieces of meat and knead them separately before mashing them all together)
3. Add the garlic powder, crushed rosemary, thyme, salt, and pepper and continue kneading until the spices are mixed in well (I didn't measure these, but I would approximate 1/2 t salt, 1/2 t pepper, 2 tsp garlic powder, 1 tsp rosemary and 1/2 tsp thyme. Next time I make it, i'm definitely doubling the spices and adding more salt.).
4. Take the ball of meat and throw it firmly on the counter top/cutting board for about 10 minutes. Somehow, doing this helps create the proper texture. They say it makes the fats break down? I don't know, but it worked.
5. After tossing the meat, pat into a tight ball and flatten slightly to compress into a miniature dense loaf. Some people may want to take a rolling pin and press it further. Mine wasn't too big so i just kept it the way it was. you don't want it to be thicker than about 2-3 in deep.
6. Bake in a baking dish (I used a greased 9x11 loaf pan) for ~1hr
Test the meat with a meat thermometer to make sure the inside gets to at least 160F to make sure that the meat is thoroughly cooked and safe. After you take it out of the oven, let it rest for about 10 minutes or so before slicing into fine strips.
.JPG) |
| Wooooo out of the oven! |
It smelled SO fantastic out of the oven. There was a delicious dark coat and the juices spilled out of the loaf, it seemed wasteful to throw it away. I snuck a few tastes of the gyros and it was so yummy. Zorbas in my mouth FTW. Gyro dinner was a couple slices of gyro, sardines in olive oil, olives, and shredded raw brussels sprouts salad with lemon garlic aioli. Delicious. Dessert was coconut date bars from the co-op. again, delicious :-)
Tomorrow is the 30th day. WHAT DO I DO!?!?!?!/
I know that on Saturday morning, I will eat a standard breakfast. and subsequently enjoy a glass of wine and a frango chocoalte. That's about as far ahead as I have planned. and i can't wait :-)
til next time, eat well and be well!
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